The Prodigal Daughter Returns

Greetings ! Greetings !
I had exams back in June and just stopped blogging - so sorry to my ONE fan haha. However, all this time has given me a new angle to approach life - - For instance, I have been blog surfing (looking through the blogs of a few friends) and I can do better than what I have been doing.

Updates
The modeling advisers got back to me and were interested but I know in all honesty that I'm not ready yet. I don't have good skin right now. Fact. Yes, i am not the contemporary height of your average model - I don't think that matters. Realizations everyday though, so might just realise I'm not meant to model (I'm looking at part time though .. because I have bigger goals). Sooooo back at Uni and have started a new course right now that I feel has brought about new challenges - it's a positive aspect. I am really upset with myself because this is what I should have done right from the beginning, and now I'm going to graduate a year and a half later than I should have. I can't keep thinking about the should have, and the would have though because I have this opportunity and I will get the degree I want to - That's all that matters and not when or how "far behind" I am. More Activity & Executing the Laziness!! Womp Womp - That's what I'm TRYING to do. Just getting things done when they are meant to be because continuously postponing is not going to help (it hasn't in the past). My camera got stolen and I figure it was a blessing in disguise because now I can get a really good camera to develop my interest in Photography. I'm also putting on weight (slowly but surely) and have ordered a new skin care line of products; Clear Essence - So will tell you how that goes! Really trying to just be who I'm meant to be. Get my confidence back !! The 2nd Year Anniversary of my Brother's death was a week ago on Friday - - It was hard and still is but he's blessed ! May he continue to Rest in Peace

Back to Present Time
I've got Braids in right now (Pick and Drop) because I want to get my hair really healthy and then cut it again possibly. At this moment, I'm cleaning out my room in Uni because I feel I retain so much junk - it really irks me. So I'm cleaning out my make up with the help of my friends Ele & Halima via my Blackberry. Now...Silver Eyeshadow? Ele says "LOL No" i.e. Chuck it; Halima says "I'd mix it with Black" .. which is what the dear Jennifer Hudson did at the Grammys. I'm just trying to use my youth to the best of my advantage - thinking of all the styles I might as well try out now whilst I'm still discovering myself. I've put up a few more "Silver Shadow" examples.

A while ago (2 Years +), I bought this nail polish from YSL - Limited Edition - Timeless Shade !! I think it's been discontinued but I love it ! *Random* The reason I'm sharing this with you, is because I just painted my nails (am I the only one who can never paint her nails at home and have them looking like they got done at the nail studio?). *SKIN* ..sigh.. I mentioned my skin condition earlier so I thought I might as well speak about skin. I have had bad skin (spots - scars from the spots because I never listened to my mother and sister and picked them) for a few years now. Looking back, it started in 2001 .. so I've had it for 8 years now and in all honesty it has crippled the way I live. I can't blame anyone apart from myself - but even as a young adult, I still backslide with my skin regime. To hide my skin problem, I use makeup (which I hate quite honestly) - I feel restrained. Can't touch my face because I don't want to rub my makeup off. But flawless skin - no amount of money can buy that ! You truly do just need to take care of your skin. Water is the best and it irks me so much because I only just realised this. I'm a water freak (getting there hehe) now. I also have this terrible habit of not always washing my makeup off at night. I know the confidence boost I'm going to get when my skin clears up in a few months (and this is a vow - watch me !). I've started using the body scrub and the body butter from the Body Shop - so far, so good. I have also promised myself I will start taking Berocca tablets everyday - they're supposed to make you more energetic. So here it is Ladies (and gentlemen - I'm working out my boyfriend's skin regime as well). What goes in your body counts !!

That's all for now =p

K*L
Cocoa Soul

***Breaking News***

Afternoon Friends !

I woke up this morning after a weird dream - I just felt ... different. Did a bit of the old Facebook 'browsing" ... and decided - I am going to try and get signed by a Modelling Agency by the end of the year . Ok, maybe that's a bit far fetched. I am going to try and get a modelling job in the next 12 months. So I'm currently looking at a few agencies and a few companies which cna help me in my part-time career. I am also going to enter my Poetry, into a Poetry contest. Life is short! Why not just try it out? I forgot to mention my post about the Christian Loubs. - the shoes are fake ! I took a closer look at the images on the website and the quality of the shoes or the lack thereof was so evident to see! I also bought a new pair of Dune heels (Dune is a UK Shoe Store) a few days ago ; they were on Sale. I thought Dune was pretty good quality until I took a closer look at the shoes AFTER I bought them. :( Not that great ! I don't think everything you own has to be designer but I really do believe in the best quality - I hate it when things don't last long! :(

xxx

1:04pm

So I have put a picture forward with this company called "Model Advice" and I will be waiting for an answer from them! I know it's not an easy process but I'm going to be crossing the age barrier where you are then considered 'old' in the modelling world ! The Poetry competition is a bit harder to get into though :( Can't find any where I don't have to pay a cash prize ! Did I mention I have Blue Nails right now? *Fierrrceee* hehe =p First time I've painted them a bright colour like that. I was tweet browsing and I came across this lady's profile. She designs Nails and they are definetly not my taste; I was just wondering who would want to have these?

Click Click Click *FLASH*

Afternoon Everyone !!

So, as far as my experiments go - I've taken a few pictures (It's just a start with the design I'm into), which I tried to make a bit descriptive. Pictures are meant to tell stories, right? Here are some of the pictures I took.

This is one of the Happy Ones.

Happy II

Happy III

Happy IV

This is One of the Spaced Out Ones.

The Angry One

The Distraught One

The Sad One

I tried to make them all descriptive but not so much so (if you understand what I mean). They aren't necessarily pretty pictures - but they are expressive. It's just my first time anyway - I'll get better ;-)

So my hair looks like roadkill right now - - I really need to learn how to start taking care of my weaves and especially because they aren't cheap - they're meant to last a while. There's a party I've been asked to attend (A friend's boyfriend; and another's brother) on Friday and so I think I've pretty much figured out what I'm going to wear :) I'll snap it up and show you guys a picture. In addition to that, I will be taking my weave out and my short hair will be back on the circuit (the boyfriend will be ecstatic). The thing about having my short hair is that I don't know what to do with it !! I need to experiment :-s

To experiment, you need to buy ... Don't ask me how I came to this conclusion. I want to buy a few hairbands - Not the typical "Accessorize" type though; want to go a little bit out of my way (The beginning of an Experiment!!). To buy these hairbands I need money - and seeing as I have been blowing all my cash like a spiralling wall street broker who's wife just left him - I'm going to have to tell my mum the REAL amount of my phone bill - - It is pretty appalling.

This weekend, we're meant to be staying in these flats much closer to the Venue of the party, a few friends have said they're coming down (Whether they actually will is a whole different discussion). I was thinking we could go Paintballing on Saturday. I've never been grown-up paint balling - only kiddie paint-balling .. sad, I know. Oh and I lied to you guys, I didn't tidy my room - And I really should because I don't function properly in a mess ..... oooooooooooh :(

Fashion Forward I

So today has been a pretty dreary day :\
Been in bed all day - Watching TV Shows ... Tweeting ... & Then I see it !!
Recently, I've been trying to grow up, mature, develop myself - which i feel includes etiquette; my fashion sense - basically things on the outside as well as the in (obviously the inside reflects on what goes on outside). I came across this website that offers Christian Louboutin heels for $15o ! Now with what I wear, clothes, shoes and what not. They don't have to be expensive but I hate buying things and not having them last long. So this website claims to sell authentic CLou. shoes. Do I believe them??

*Currently Tidying Up; Will Be Updating My Self Experiments Later*

Watch Me Grow People :D xxx

Cocoa Queen I

I realise no one is following my blog, right now, but I am hanging in there because I want to spread all I'm learning with you all :)
So today's blog is a bit of a general. I've decided I'm going to use myself as a guniea pig - so you can all watch me grow; and we can all learn as we go along.

Concealer is the secret of the Universe - Bobbi Brown.
I semi-agree with this, I think good skin is the REAL secret ! 3L of water a day for starters . I've hardly had any fizzy drinks in about a month and seeing as I'm a sweet freak - that is pretty good :D.

So I shall be experimenting with my make-up & clothes. Find out the looks that work for me.

Darkness Flee Away

Oh darkness how cunning you think you are,
holding death in the palm of your hands.
You took her - You took him,
You swept a lot of them away with the wind.

Though you have no emotions,
You have no smile.
Your skin isn't Rosy,
Your hair dark Brown.

There will never be a friend to hold your hand,
at the end of that Sunny Day.
An enchanting love to whisk you into the air; amongst the leaves,
running through the Park as you both play.

You take their bodies and what you think is their soul,
then why do I see him move through the whispering trees.
He is only gone in flesh they say,
Well darkness I tell you to flee away because no one,
absolutely nothing ... Waits for you in this place.

K*L
Cocoa Soul

Poker Face I

Poker Face is where we put the giggles away and get down to some serious Business. Please feel free to discuss !

On My Mind :
AIG

The American Investment Group has been attacked by pretty much every nation in the World for their ridiculous scam. They gave away over $210 million in bonuses ! This is after collecting a $2 billion loan from the Government - - Are they kidding me? These are trying times ! The tax payers are not impressed (understandably so).

Obama

This was undoubtedly the Bush Administration and some Congressional Democrats are trying to blame the Obama Administration? Obama is also being criticized for appearing on Jay Leno. President Obama is a Man of the People and I am certain he knows what he's doing.

Mugabe

Mugabe is calling out for Aid for the Wrecked Economy of his Country - - The Man is mildly deranged and yet he still manages to get away with it. Simply put; he is untouchable. The Leaders of the World (including his fellow African leaders) who complain about him being in Power can't do anything to him - - I truly believe it's a deal they all have. They put him there - - Yet they can't touch him. One day the World will find out the truth.

Nigeria

N1 is now equal to $250 and £300 .. This isn't good for the Nigerian Nation ...

Fritzl

He's the monster who raped his own Daughter for Countless Years and Fathered One Too Many Children (Maybe I'm not expressing myself quite right; What I mean to say is there shouldn't even have been ONE Child). He is being sent to a home for for Mentally-Ill people and could be released as soon as 15 years!! He apparently wants to apologize to his "victims". Sick does not even begin to describe him - - Neither does demented.

Natasha Richardson

This well-known actress passed away whilst skiing with her sons in Canada. Natasha was apparently fine after she got up and even made sure they sent the first ambulance away as she felt OK. It was only when she started getting headaches; they sent for another ambulance. She was only 45 years old. May her Soul Truly Rest In Perfect Peace.
The death of someone in the spotlight always seems to shock me. I'm not sure why. I've lost a very dear loved one - You never think it will happen to you. Yet, the Death of someone - Anyone - seems to shock me time and time again.

"Let's Get Real"

K*L
Cocoa Soul

First Thursday

I'm one of the many people going back home for the Easter break, but it's not as though the break is a yard long - - So I'll be back soon but I wasn't aware I was being shipped off until about 3 days ago; So it's kind of upsetting.

There is so much drama at the University I attend. Generally people think once you're abroad and away from your Home Country, people from the same nationality and yourself will stick together. Not exactly at Fuggwots (My witty twist on Hogwarts - Fuggowts - i.e. F***ing worthless) - They strive to cut each other down. The funny thing is, everyone's status is about how you have to be careful "in this place" - - but err - - How can a Villain ask another Villain to stop with the
Madness?? ... Yokes !

I have a 21st to attend tomorrow - - But I'm not sure what everyone else is wearing .. But I've got this divine skirt I got from Reiss so y'know ... Am I boring you enough?

>>UPDATE<<



Most importantly, Just found out Natasha Richardson passed away. It's very sad news. May she Rest in Peace.

K*L
Kisses*&*Love

Cocoa Soul

Untitled

I lost the username and password to my Original Blog - This is some Poetry I wrote on that one :) xx

My First Entry ...
Here Goes ...

Left in the Dark,
Crying my Soul out.
I get left behind,
and they look me in the eye.
Trust in me, Talk to me;
your words I foolishly believed.

Confusion at Heart,
the perfect floetry; Gods' angels sing with me.
I'm praising the most high,
for I can no lonnger hide.

My pen touches paper,
the woman inside begins to waiver.
I can only hope,
that by some spectacular coincedence; you'll tell me what I need to know.
Which is exactly what I mean.

Truly ... I'm so confused right now; I'm a good person with amazing friends; had a hard few years (who hasn't ey !!) ... I just wish I could get my mind right ... Life is too short, there should be no regrets...So I'm not complaining, just trying to find my path

The Fear in Me

Pain from my Eyes,
I cry.
Drowning myself;
but wanting to reach out and help.

Stalling, in slow motion,
trying to stay at the same speed.
So easy for you to move towards me,
Yet so hard to find that strength in thee to keep that promise.

To hold what you said to me,
It's me and you; If i fall,
so will you.

So I push me,
Push all the negativity,
Hoping I've got the strength in me.

My words are empty; and harsh you claim.
Though the words of a passerby, let's say,
Can change thy belief.

I am scared.
At times I wither,
of your effect on me.
I know where I need to be,
I also want a piece of the old me.

Wake up, and smell the fear in me.