Midnight Snacks

Hey all. Was thinking about my youth today. I already feel as though I'm missing out and letting life pass me by. Not because I party less or don't socialise with a particular crowd - but because I truly feel like there is more enlightenment. I'm all for success and determination - ALL for it ! I have goals and I certainly want to achieve them by the age of 2-. I'm in my early twenties (very early twenties); aren't these the years I'm meant to be discovering the world. Being lost doesn't mean you don't have dreams, it doesn't mean you don't have goals either. It just means you're in a bit of a daze - I feel as though its the moment before realisation. I came across something yesterday, in a motivational book meant to guide you through the year with the help of your bible. It says God has no place for lazy bones. I agree that there is a bigger picture for us all but I also believe we're meant to learn along the way. Life is short. Open your heart up to those that see you. And I mean really see you, despite of everything, despite your flaws. Its not easy to see people like that. Infact some people YOU may not be meant to see so clearly, that may just be someone else's job. But be honest - with yourself first, then you're able to be honest with others. Don't let yourself drown. Reach out for something, even if it's a book that can only enlighten you ... for a few hours.

Fast Forward • Future Forward

'It has been a while' , would be the understatement of the year. However, I am not going to focus on the time lost; but the plans that lay ahead. No internet at my flat, so it will be harder than it was to keep up-to-date with a blog but I shall overcome :-). Plans to broaden the horizon of CocoaSoul - architecture, fashion, politics etc I'll start with architecture.
My late brother was an architect, I remember buying him the odd design software and watching him work. I watched as an observer, not with any particular interest. When I started dating S. a few years back, we then developed an interest together but he, again, seemed more intrigued than I was. So here is my effort to look into what I like but could never be bothered with. Enjoy !

These images above are from a house in the Hollywood Hills. It's a bit too modern for me, but I do like the concept of the homes.



I love this spacious kitchen; I think there is a bit too much wood for me though - just a bit.

I love the balcony upstairs !

Shall be blogging more later.

PS : Might be going for a friend's birthday this weekend and the theme is 'Alice in Wonderland' but think the Tim Burton version. I was thinking about going as the Mad Hatter - can relate to him :) So I'm guessing top hat, bow tie and a nice dress? ... Yeah? ... That's if I go - just not in the mood to see anyone right now.

The Prodigal Daughter Returns

Greetings ! Greetings !
I had exams back in June and just stopped blogging - so sorry to my ONE fan haha. However, all this time has given me a new angle to approach life - - For instance, I have been blog surfing (looking through the blogs of a few friends) and I can do better than what I have been doing.

Updates
The modeling advisers got back to me and were interested but I know in all honesty that I'm not ready yet. I don't have good skin right now. Fact. Yes, i am not the contemporary height of your average model - I don't think that matters. Realizations everyday though, so might just realise I'm not meant to model (I'm looking at part time though .. because I have bigger goals). Sooooo back at Uni and have started a new course right now that I feel has brought about new challenges - it's a positive aspect. I am really upset with myself because this is what I should have done right from the beginning, and now I'm going to graduate a year and a half later than I should have. I can't keep thinking about the should have, and the would have though because I have this opportunity and I will get the degree I want to - That's all that matters and not when or how "far behind" I am. More Activity & Executing the Laziness!! Womp Womp - That's what I'm TRYING to do. Just getting things done when they are meant to be because continuously postponing is not going to help (it hasn't in the past). My camera got stolen and I figure it was a blessing in disguise because now I can get a really good camera to develop my interest in Photography. I'm also putting on weight (slowly but surely) and have ordered a new skin care line of products; Clear Essence - So will tell you how that goes! Really trying to just be who I'm meant to be. Get my confidence back !! The 2nd Year Anniversary of my Brother's death was a week ago on Friday - - It was hard and still is but he's blessed ! May he continue to Rest in Peace

Back to Present Time
I've got Braids in right now (Pick and Drop) because I want to get my hair really healthy and then cut it again possibly. At this moment, I'm cleaning out my room in Uni because I feel I retain so much junk - it really irks me. So I'm cleaning out my make up with the help of my friends Ele & Halima via my Blackberry. Now...Silver Eyeshadow? Ele says "LOL No" i.e. Chuck it; Halima says "I'd mix it with Black" .. which is what the dear Jennifer Hudson did at the Grammys. I'm just trying to use my youth to the best of my advantage - thinking of all the styles I might as well try out now whilst I'm still discovering myself. I've put up a few more "Silver Shadow" examples.

A while ago (2 Years +), I bought this nail polish from YSL - Limited Edition - Timeless Shade !! I think it's been discontinued but I love it ! *Random* The reason I'm sharing this with you, is because I just painted my nails (am I the only one who can never paint her nails at home and have them looking like they got done at the nail studio?). *SKIN* ..sigh.. I mentioned my skin condition earlier so I thought I might as well speak about skin. I have had bad skin (spots - scars from the spots because I never listened to my mother and sister and picked them) for a few years now. Looking back, it started in 2001 .. so I've had it for 8 years now and in all honesty it has crippled the way I live. I can't blame anyone apart from myself - but even as a young adult, I still backslide with my skin regime. To hide my skin problem, I use makeup (which I hate quite honestly) - I feel restrained. Can't touch my face because I don't want to rub my makeup off. But flawless skin - no amount of money can buy that ! You truly do just need to take care of your skin. Water is the best and it irks me so much because I only just realised this. I'm a water freak (getting there hehe) now. I also have this terrible habit of not always washing my makeup off at night. I know the confidence boost I'm going to get when my skin clears up in a few months (and this is a vow - watch me !). I've started using the body scrub and the body butter from the Body Shop - so far, so good. I have also promised myself I will start taking Berocca tablets everyday - they're supposed to make you more energetic. So here it is Ladies (and gentlemen - I'm working out my boyfriend's skin regime as well). What goes in your body counts !!

That's all for now =p

K*L
Cocoa Soul

***Breaking News***

Afternoon Friends !

I woke up this morning after a weird dream - I just felt ... different. Did a bit of the old Facebook 'browsing" ... and decided - I am going to try and get signed by a Modelling Agency by the end of the year . Ok, maybe that's a bit far fetched. I am going to try and get a modelling job in the next 12 months. So I'm currently looking at a few agencies and a few companies which cna help me in my part-time career. I am also going to enter my Poetry, into a Poetry contest. Life is short! Why not just try it out? I forgot to mention my post about the Christian Loubs. - the shoes are fake ! I took a closer look at the images on the website and the quality of the shoes or the lack thereof was so evident to see! I also bought a new pair of Dune heels (Dune is a UK Shoe Store) a few days ago ; they were on Sale. I thought Dune was pretty good quality until I took a closer look at the shoes AFTER I bought them. :( Not that great ! I don't think everything you own has to be designer but I really do believe in the best quality - I hate it when things don't last long! :(

xxx

1:04pm

So I have put a picture forward with this company called "Model Advice" and I will be waiting for an answer from them! I know it's not an easy process but I'm going to be crossing the age barrier where you are then considered 'old' in the modelling world ! The Poetry competition is a bit harder to get into though :( Can't find any where I don't have to pay a cash prize ! Did I mention I have Blue Nails right now? *Fierrrceee* hehe =p First time I've painted them a bright colour like that. I was tweet browsing and I came across this lady's profile. She designs Nails and they are definetly not my taste; I was just wondering who would want to have these?

Click Click Click *FLASH*

Afternoon Everyone !!

So, as far as my experiments go - I've taken a few pictures (It's just a start with the design I'm into), which I tried to make a bit descriptive. Pictures are meant to tell stories, right? Here are some of the pictures I took.

This is one of the Happy Ones.

Happy II

Happy III

Happy IV

This is One of the Spaced Out Ones.

The Angry One

The Distraught One

The Sad One

I tried to make them all descriptive but not so much so (if you understand what I mean). They aren't necessarily pretty pictures - but they are expressive. It's just my first time anyway - I'll get better ;-)

So my hair looks like roadkill right now - - I really need to learn how to start taking care of my weaves and especially because they aren't cheap - they're meant to last a while. There's a party I've been asked to attend (A friend's boyfriend; and another's brother) on Friday and so I think I've pretty much figured out what I'm going to wear :) I'll snap it up and show you guys a picture. In addition to that, I will be taking my weave out and my short hair will be back on the circuit (the boyfriend will be ecstatic). The thing about having my short hair is that I don't know what to do with it !! I need to experiment :-s

To experiment, you need to buy ... Don't ask me how I came to this conclusion. I want to buy a few hairbands - Not the typical "Accessorize" type though; want to go a little bit out of my way (The beginning of an Experiment!!). To buy these hairbands I need money - and seeing as I have been blowing all my cash like a spiralling wall street broker who's wife just left him - I'm going to have to tell my mum the REAL amount of my phone bill - - It is pretty appalling.

This weekend, we're meant to be staying in these flats much closer to the Venue of the party, a few friends have said they're coming down (Whether they actually will is a whole different discussion). I was thinking we could go Paintballing on Saturday. I've never been grown-up paint balling - only kiddie paint-balling .. sad, I know. Oh and I lied to you guys, I didn't tidy my room - And I really should because I don't function properly in a mess ..... oooooooooooh :(

Fashion Forward I

So today has been a pretty dreary day :\
Been in bed all day - Watching TV Shows ... Tweeting ... & Then I see it !!
Recently, I've been trying to grow up, mature, develop myself - which i feel includes etiquette; my fashion sense - basically things on the outside as well as the in (obviously the inside reflects on what goes on outside). I came across this website that offers Christian Louboutin heels for $15o ! Now with what I wear, clothes, shoes and what not. They don't have to be expensive but I hate buying things and not having them last long. So this website claims to sell authentic CLou. shoes. Do I believe them??

*Currently Tidying Up; Will Be Updating My Self Experiments Later*

Watch Me Grow People :D xxx

Cocoa Queen I

I realise no one is following my blog, right now, but I am hanging in there because I want to spread all I'm learning with you all :)
So today's blog is a bit of a general. I've decided I'm going to use myself as a guniea pig - so you can all watch me grow; and we can all learn as we go along.

Concealer is the secret of the Universe - Bobbi Brown.
I semi-agree with this, I think good skin is the REAL secret ! 3L of water a day for starters . I've hardly had any fizzy drinks in about a month and seeing as I'm a sweet freak - that is pretty good :D.

So I shall be experimenting with my make-up & clothes. Find out the looks that work for me.